startbelieving

that I have a very boring existence.

I don't understand anything anymore.

I am so finished with highschool.

I absolutely detest going there every day.

If I only had one really great friend to talk to there, then it might be okay.
What the hell is wrong with my mind?
I don't understand anyone or their actions.

I'm so going to be a recluse. xD

I'm currently reading False Memory by Dean Koontz. Reading is one of the most important things in the world to me! It allows you to become anyone you want to be, go anywhere you want to go, and just completely live another life for a while.

Once again, I am ridiculously sick.
Of course the weekend with sickness wouldn't be complete without a ton of Calc homework and a paper to write for English, right?
-annoyed face-

My dad actually placed a phone call to me today. I pick up the phone, groaning internally just because I know what he will say; I press the phone to my ear, and he launches into : "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ERIKA!"

o_0

I'm like...IT'S SEPTEMBER!

I WAS BORN IN OCTOBER!

O.C.T.O.B.E.R.

I mean...sending a card is one thing, but a phone call, too?
Oh, gosh.

So my birthday is next month, October 8th to be exact.

Today in the mail, I received a letter from my dad. I was pretty surprised because he never sends me things. As my mom shoved it into my hands, I said ironically, "I bet it's my birthday card." So I open it, and, amazingly enough, it's my birthday card. I rock at predicting things, evidently. xD

My own father can't remember my damn birthday.

Yeah, I know it's not that big of a deal, but I find it slightly humorous.

Period 1: Spanish II
Period 2: 20th Century History = Government
Period 3: AP Chemistry II
Period 4: Biblical Studies
LUNCH
Period 5: AP Pre-Calculus
Period 6: AP English 11
Period 7: Getting another class scheduled in here today


So when I become deceased, the above is why.


EDIT:

Period 1: Spanish II
Period 2: Honors Chemistry I
Period 3: AP English 11
Period 4: Biblical Studies
LUNCH
Period 5: AP Pre-Calculus
Period 6: US History
Period 7: Still don't know! Urgh.

It sucks to be sick your last week of summer vacation. 
Bahhhhhh. =/

 -Sigh- I'm a xanga role-playing nerd. =D

There isn't much of a story behind it, really. I was listening to a song (I can't even remember which), and it said something along the lines of "start to believe". At the time, I was attempting to think of a name for livejournal. So, I decided to mix it up a bit and go with StartBelieving.

I also like it because I tend to have a lot of dreams and goals. Of course, my pessimistic attitude always tells me that I won't be able to accomplish them. Eventually, I get over that and tell myself to believe. So, it kind of fits in with that, too.

Since I am in such a rotten mood about this, I'm going to post. 

Okay, so my old school didn't have enough people to keep it open another year. It was a really small private school that only had 119 kids from kindergarten through 12th grade. For the upcoming school year, they only had 79 students enrolled in those same grades. So, they obviously will have no sort of funding to keep it going. Obviously, the only option was to close down. So, they announced it last night, and they semi-merged with another like-minded school. That way, the students from my old school will get a discount and know lots of people going in.

Anyway, my family had decided to leave before any of this happened. The administration did not understand my family's issues and weren't working in the way we would have liked. Plus, in Spanish II last year, my class went through three chapters throughout the entire year! o_0 Yeah. Ridiculous.

So, aside from all of that boring information, a lot of people from my old school are freaking out. Now, I really love my cousin, but this just perturbed me to no end. My cousin (who is going to be a senior) asked me if I could transfer schools with her and go to the new merged school. o_0 This is after I've spent the whole of my summer in freakin' summer school when I don't need it, simply so that I could help prepare myself academically for this new school. Also, my family went through about three or four interviews in order to become accepted.

So, in spite of all of this, my cousin wants me to transfer to her new school! o_0 I'm a junior and I'm going to be going to a completely new school with absolutely no one that I know, and yet, she, a senior, who is going to a semi-merged school with tons of people she knows, needs me to help walk her into that school? 

And, of course, a lot of people are freaking out from my old school. "A new school! New people! Different hallways!" People are honestly scared of this and can't accept it. "My whole world is coming down!" In high school?

Of course, none of this will make sense to you if you haven't grown up in a Baptist environment. 

Anyway, I'm obviously in a really pissed off mood, so I apologize for my overdramaticness and horrible grammar.

-Erika Lyn

This week has completely sucked so far. =/ Just one of those not-my-week type of things, I guess.

I have the most ridiculous schedule for tomorrow:

9:00-9:55 - Geometry/ACT Prep
10:00-12:00 - Testing for school placement
12:30- 3:00(?) - Reading discussion with my old and favourite teacher! 
5:00-5:30- Flute lesson

BAH.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Okay, so did anyone actually enjoy Breaking Dawn?
The greatest collapse of morals ever, no? 

I don't know if I can even explain why I didn't like it, but I'll try. xD
Dont' read it if you don't want SPOILERS!

SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!

01. I really didn't need a sex scene in the book (like some people wanted), but it would have been MUCH preferable to the ridiculous jokes and everything relating back to it. I mean, really now, breaking houses and headboards? It was sort of like a twelve-year old boy's finding out about sex. Oh, yes, Bella's bruises? I understand that he is much harder than she is (I have no idea how to word that correctly.), but come on now. It sounded a bit too masochistic for me.

02. Renesmee. Oh, goodness. I can't even describe how much I disliked this addition to the story. Bella and Edward just cannot possibly have a child. Just...no. I wanted a more Anne Rice type of vampire novel. Bella is a new vampire; you think she would be sinking her teeth into humans, not having maternal feelings. I mean, for me, it took all of the mystery and romance out of everything. Plus, it can't be good to be breaking houses with your child in them, no?

03. Jacob's imprinting? Every boy wants his ex-love's half-mortal, half-vampire spawn, no? Sorry, I know that he "imprinted", so he had no choice; but that doesn't change how annoying it was for me. Plus, I found it really obvious how it was all worded. As he turns to kill the baby, he looks into her eyes. BAM! Imprint. 

05. The whole issue of the Volturi really bothered me. It was just like this big amped up thing, and then...they leave with no fight? I didn't like how it was all diplomatic , aside from the whole Alec and Jane thing. I would have liked one of the Cullen family to die. It would have made it more real to me. I mean, Irina? That doesn't cut it.  

04. Stephanie obviously tried to make everything end up quite nicely for everyone. Hey, we can't leave the Jacob or the Edward fans out, can we? So, since Bella can only be given to one man (I'm quite surprised that she didn't find a way around THAT), let's give Jacob to Bella's child! Oh, yeah, that'll be brilliant! Wasn't that on All My Children a while back? Only kidding. :)

06. Okay, one of my biggest problems was that this book evoked NO emotion in me. I cannot recall one moment in the book when I felt near to tears. I did laugh a few - very few - times, but that doesn't cut it for 754 pages. 

"I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound and stab us." -Franz Kafka

 I know that not every book is going to do this, but I would have liked this one to do it.

07. Stephanie, get a new editor.  

I apologize for my slight cruelty. :)

Okay, so usually I'm more of an Edgar Allan Poe type of girl. I mean, who doesn't love Annabel Lee or The Raven? Exactly. Edgar Allan Poe is absolutely amazing. Anyway, more to the point of this entry, here is a poem by Robert Frost that I will never cease to love:

A Considerable Speck

A speck that would have been beneath my sight
On any but a paper sheet so white
Set off across what I had written there.
And I had idly poised my pen in air
To stop it with a period of ink
When something strange about it made me think,
This was no dust speck by my breathing blown,
But unmistakably a living mite
With inclinations it could call its own.
It paused as with suspicion of my pen,
And then came racing wildly on again
To where my manuscript was not yet dry;
Then paused again and either drank or smelt--
With loathing, for again it turned to fly.
Plainly with an intelligence I dealt.
It seemed too tiny to have room for feet,
Yet must have had a set of them complete
To express how much it didn't want to die.
It ran with terror and with cunning crept.
It faltered: I could see it hesitate;
Then in the middle of the open sheet
Cower down in desperation to accept
Whatever I accorded it of fate.
I have none of the tenderer-than-thou
Collectivistic regimenting love
With which the modern world is being swept.
But this poor microscopic item now!
Since it was nothing I knew evil of
I let it lie there till I hope it slept.

I have a mind myself and recognize
Mind when I meet with it in any guise
No one can know how glad I am to find
On any sheet the least display of mind. 

 Hmm, for some reason, I love the opening to Franz Kafka's Metamorphosis. "As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect."
As for why it works, I'm not so sure.